USS Apache - 10504.08 - "Did You Pack Your Umbrella?" Part I

<<<<<<<<<<<<<Begin>>>>>>>>>>>>>
MO_Turok says:
::Checking his traditional Ferengi clothing in his quarters::

ACTION: The USS Apache is sitting inside the starbase, all its engineering teams having returned to SB, and the Apache having been given the all-clear to return to active duty.

CO_Storal says:
::sitting in his chair on the bridge waiting for all personnel to check in::

CTO_Grey-feather says:
:: checking the tactical systems, making sure those apes from engineering hooked everything back up to the right controls::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::on the bridge in her chair, looking over some of the repair reports::

CEO_Solkar says:
:: checking status reports in engineering::

Host Adm_Woo says:
@::sitting in his office, glancing over the last of the reports from the Apache's mission.... and chuckling softly to himself as the ship gets ready to leave for Ferenginar...::

Star Base Operations Officer says:
@COM: Apache: SB366 to Apache. You are clear for departure at your leisure. Enjoy your shore leave.

CO_Storal says:
::looks over to his XO:: XO: Is everyone on board?

CMO_Powers says:
::In sickbay, checking on the supplies::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::smiles:: CO: I believe so, sir.

CO_Storal says:
XO:Good. I have to say In this case I would rather go back to work than have shore leave where we are going. Go ahead and take us out. ::grins::

Host Adm_Woo says:
@::steps out into the SBOPS and opens a channel:: COM: Apache: Oh, by the way, Captain, I took the liberty of sending over... an extra box of supplies for the crew of the Apache, which I believe you will find to be quite useful, it's sitting in your Cargo Bay right now... ::smiles::

CO_Storal says:
COM: Woo: Acknowledged.  We are heading out now. Storal out.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: I heard that, why Ferenginar, sir?  Do you know?  Is it punishment?

CTO_Grey-feather says:
::hearing the admiral:: Himself: Hope it is raincoats considering where we are going
XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
V'Taran: Mr. V'Taran, take us out.

FCO V’Taran says:
::nods:: XO: Aye, sir, releasing umbilicals, and taking us out on full thrusters.

CMO_Powers says:
::sees that everything is where it should be and heads up to the bridge::

ACTION: A clanging can be heard as the umbilicals are released.... and the ship begins to pull away from the docking port...

CO_Storal says:
XO: I don’t know. There is probably some conspiracy there that we have to weed out, or something like that.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
CO: Captain tactical systems are in the green sir.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: I hope the supplies are along the lines of umbrellas and rain gear. ::grins::

CEO_Solkar says:
Self: I love the smell of new warp core.

CO_Storal says:
CTO:Good, when we get a good distance from the station I want you to squeeze off a few rounds. I know its not needed. But it always helps to have a test fire after a major repair.

MO_Turok says:
::Feels the ship begin to move::

ACTION: The doors to the starbase open, and the Apache is slowly taken out through the massive gates...

CO_Storal says:
XO:You would hope so ::laughs::

CEO_Solkar says:
::Checks the intermix chamber and crystal alignment.::

CMO_Powers says:
::exits the TL and enters the bridge::

CO_Storal says:
::taps his combadge:: *MO*:Mr. Turok. Can you go to cargo bay 2. The Admiral has sent a box of supplies. Can you see what they are?

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CTO: Just don't hit anything important. ::grins::

FCO V’Taran says:
XO: We have cleared the starbase and are approaching the perimeter, sir.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
CO: Aye sir with pleasure :: grins ::

CMO_Powers says:
XO: Are you as excited about our shore leave as I am, sir?

CTO_Grey-feather says:
::gives the XO one of those, and you should talk looks :: XO: Of course commander

ACTION: The Apache, in all its splendor - as much splendor as a New Orleans-class ship can muster - crosses the outer markers of the Starbase...

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CMO: Oh, yes, I'm so excited ::said through clenched teeth::

CO_Storal says:
::chuckles at the XO::

CEO_Solkar says:
:: Waiting for the warp order to see the new core get into action ::

MO_Turok says:
*CO* :On my way sir.

CMO_Powers says:
XO: I can't wait to be scammed out of latinum in the pouring rain.

FCO V’Taran says:
::turns around:: XO/CO: Shall we, er, make way for Ferenginar post haste?

CO_Storal says:
V'Taran: As soon as we are clear. Set course for Ferenginar, warp 6.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::chuckles::CMO: I know the feeling, John.

FCO V’Taran says:
::nods:: CO: Warp six, aye.

MO_Turok says:
:Exits his quarters and heads for cargo bay 2::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::winks at the captain:: V'Taran: Oh, don't "haste" too much.

ACTION: The Apache is thrust into warp, its new engine humming in a tone that can only be described as "happy and loving of life".

MO_Turok says:
::Enters the turbolift:: TL: Cargo bay two.

CEO_Solkar says:
:: Breathes in deep, smiles.::

CEO_Solkar says:
Self: That sounds right.

CO_Storal says:
CMO: How are you doing? WE have an open seat here. Why don’t you join us?

CEO_Solkar says:
:: Enters Turbolift::

FCO V’Taran says:
XO/CO: Warp six. ETA approximately seven hours.

CEO_Solkar says:
TL: Bridge.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
V'Taran: Acknowledged, Lieutenant.

MO_Turok says:
::Exits the turbolift and enters the cargo bay::

OPS_Ryushi says:
::exits his quarters and heads down the corridor to the TL:: TL: Bridge.

ACTION: In the Cargo Bay rests a particularly shady-looking box...

CMO_Powers says:
CO: Why thank you sir. ::takes a seat:: Everything is good with me sir.

CO_Storal says:
CMO: Good to hear. I take it that you used your down time for good use?

OPS_Ryushi says:
::steps out of the TL and heads to Ops:: CO: Lieutenant Ryushi, reporting, sir.

MO_Turok says:
::Looks around the cargo bay::

CMO_Powers says:
CO: Most of it was used up recovering, sir.

ACTION: The CMO finds that the seat is particularly comfortable, finely upholstered.... a coffee dispenser pops up next to him.

CEO_Solkar says:
::Enters bridge and takes position at the engineering terminal.::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CMO: Are you doing better, John?  I know you were pretty banged up yourself.

CO_Storal says:
OPS: Did you over sleep Mr. Ryushi? ::grins:: Take your post.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: No, sir, daily meditation.  ::takes the Ops station::

CO_Storal says:
CEO: Mr. Solkar. How is the new warp core handling?

CMO_Powers says:
XO: I'm doing alright, I'm able to move fully without much pain.

CMO_Powers says:
XO/CO: Have either of you been to Ferenginar for recreation before?

Ensign Mathers says:
::turns to the MO:: MO: Morning, sir. You looking for something?

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CMO: Well, I hope the lovely weather we're expecting doesn't impede your progress.

CEO_Solkar says:
CO: If we can keep from dumping it, it ought to hold up just fine for a long time.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CMO: I don't go to Ferenginar, period. John.

CO_Storal says:
CMO: Never been...never cared to. ::chuckles:: I think I would prefer that Demon planet.

MO_Turok says:
Mathers: The CO sent me down here.

CO_Storal says:
CEO: Agreed, Hopefully we wont have to do that.

Ensign Mathers says:
::nods:: MO: Right... I guess you're probably looking for that... :: points to the shady box:: The admiral had it sent here just as we were leaving.

MO_Turok says:
Mathers: Guess I should check it out. ::Walks over and opens the box::

CMO_Powers says:
XO/CO: I've never really seen it as a holiday planet either.

ACTION: The MO opens the box.... and inside, finds hundreds of copies of the Rules of Acquisition... and just as many umbrellas.

CO_Storal says:
CMO:I think only the Ferengi would find it relaxing.. Either that or a shop-a-holic. We are going to the center of commerce ::laughs::

MO_Turok says:
Self: Excellent, the crew can use these, both of them.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: I’d almost prefer the Romulan out of phase planet.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: If you can handle the Monkey-Squirrels, it's really not that bad.

CO_Storal says:
::points to the XO:: XO: Ooooh I forgot about that one. ::chuckles::

MO_Turok says:
*CO*: Sir a gift from the Admiral, great reading and umbrellas.

CO_Storal says:
*MO*:What do you mean great reading??
XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::smiles:: CO: As long as we don't crash the Apache to get there, you know?

CTO_Grey-feather says:
XO/CO: The monkeys weren't that bad, just the bears that got to be too much :: grins::

CO_Storal says:
XO:True. Very true.

MO_Turok says:
*CO*: Rules of acquisition, sir. One hundred copies.

CMO_Powers says:
CTO: I thought the Klingons were the worst there but that's a whole different matter that there's no need to discuss any further.

CO_Storal says:
::laughs audibly:: *MO*:Very well. Distribute them to the senior officers. I'm sure that they will be needed.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
CMO: I will tell D’Layna that next time I see her doc

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::yawns:: CO: Rules of Acquisition, huh.  Lovely reading.

TIME WARP: Seven hours have now passed... the Apache is entering the Ferenginar system...

CEO_Solkar says:
:: Been fiddling with the sensor arrays.... getting them just right::

CO_Storal says:
OPS: Contact Ferenginar and inform them that we have arrived.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: And here we are, lovely Ferenginar.

CMO_Powers says:
::reading through the Rules of Acquisition::

MO_Turok says:
::Finishes handing out the last of the rules::

CEO_Solkar says:
Quietly: I don't think I want to go.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Aye, sir!  ::announces the Apache's arrival to the Ferengi Government::

CTO_Grey-feather says:
:: shudders at the thought of a planet of women with fangs and big ears ::

Tollbooth Collector says:
::awakens after receiving a message from the incoming ship:: COM: Apache: Welcome, welcome! Please enjoy this complimentary guidebook on Ferenginar's wonders! Oh - 5 strips of latinum toll, please.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Sir, the Ferengi collector is requesting 5 strips of latinum for our passage into the system.

CO_Storal says:
OPS: Tell them to charge Admiral Woo at SB 366. He takes care of all of our expenses.

MO_Turok says:
::Enters the bridge::

CEO_Solkar says:
::Perks up.... all expense, paid, vacation.::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Why am I not surprised?

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Aye, sir.  COM: Tollbooth: Admiral Woo at SB366 will take care of the expenses with your government.

Tollbooth Collector says:
::grins, as he transfers five strips from SB366 to Ferenginar, two of those strips to his own personal account:: COM: Apache: Please enjoy your stay!

CMO_Powers says:
CO/XO: This could get quite expensive for the admiral.

CO_Storal says:
CMO: It's just the toll. ::grins::

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Sir, the Tool booth collector wishes us to enjoy our stay.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
CMO/XO/CO: Admirals orders to come here and enjoy ourselves, least he can do is pick up the check for it

CO_Storal says:
::nods to OPS:: V'Taran: Establish standard orbit.

CO_Storal says:
CTO:I like the way you think Joshua. ::grins::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CTO: I agree. ::smiles::

FCO V’Taran says:
CO: Aye, sir, standard orbit.... ::quickly maneuvers the Apache into standard orbit, above a particularly nasty region of Ferenginar covered with an ugly active storm cloud...::

CTO_Grey-feather says:
CO/XO: I do my best sirs :: smiles ::

CO_Storal says:
XO: Make sure you schedule the leave time, with the junior officers. All senior officers are free for the full time.

ACTION: Suddenly, every monitor on the ship seems to go haywire, as they become inundated with pop-up windows.... advertising "Lobe Enhancement Creams" and "Illicit Videos of the Grand Nagus".

CEO_Solkar says:
Aloud: What's this!

CMO_Powers says:
CO/XO/CTO: That's just wrong.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
OPS: You forgot to turn on the spam protection didn't you??

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: I've already done that. All junior officers are rotating shifts and will be allowed to tour Ferenginar in their off time.

FCO V’Taran says:
::frowns, as he calmly shuts off all the offending advertisements:: CO: Standard orbit has been achieved.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Sir, our computers appear to have been accessed remotely.  Beginning lockdown.  ::begins a full computer lockdown, fingers flying for a complicated code::

MO_Turok says:
::Smiling:: Self: I should have warned them.

CO_Storal says:
XO:Good. *All*:Senior officers are cleared for leave. Junior officers report to your posts.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: the computer has been completely locked down.  Total system restore in 10 seconds.

ACTION: Though the OPS manages to lock down the computer core, the damage has been done, with many subroutines having been installed, distributing third-party advertisements all across the ship.... a more thorough purge will be required, it appears...

MO_Turok says:
OPS: Don't be so sure. ::Smiling::

CO_Storal says:
::stands up and heads for the TL:: XO: Time to make lemonade. ::laughs::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::follows the CO:: CO: I agree.

OPS_Ryushi says:
::reading the displays across the screen at his console:: Self: Damn.  CO: Sir, the computer system has been infected with third-party programs... most major systems are affected.  I must warn you that this greatly decreases their productivity.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: So, how long are we here for?

CO_Storal says:
OPS/CEO: Have one of your staff fix it.
CTO_Grey-feather says:
:: Follows behind the CO and XO :: CO/XO: Time to spend the admiral's latinum you mean  :big grin on his face ::

CO_Storal says:
XO: Three rain filled days and nights.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Sir, I'd like to complete the repair myself...

CO_Storal says:
OPS: Negative... you're off duty as of now.

MO_Turok says:
CO: If I may make a suggestion sir?

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Ah, lovely.

CMO_Powers says:
::follows the others:: OPS: There's no way you're getting out of visiting Ferenginar.

CO_Storal says:
MO: What is it Ensign?

CEO_Solkar says:
CO: I'd like to assist OPS in that.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Methinks a mutiny is about.

CO_Storal says:
CEO:The same goes for you. You are off duty.

MO_Turok says:
CO/OPS: The best way to fix it is to buy the Ferengi software removal program, it will take engineering longer than our stay here to fix it without it.

CO_Storal says:
MO: Make the appropriate purchase.

OPS_Ryushi says:
CO: Aye, sir.  *OPS Vial*: Mr. Vial, I'd like you to lead the entire Operations staff to cooperate with Engineering to restore our computers.  They will function much more efficiently without these new... advertisements.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CEO/OPS: You are hereby ordered to go off duty as of now and have a good time on Ferenginar.

MO_Turok says:
CO: I know just the person sir.

CO_Storal says:
MO:Good then send the program back to the ship and take it easy for the remainder of our stay.

OPS_Ryushi says:
MO: May I accompany you, Turok?  Nothing is entering our computers without my permission.

CEO_Solkar says:
:: Heads to TL, holds the door::

MO_Turok says:
OPS: By all means, I may even teach you a trick or two about the art of bartering.

CO_Storal says:
::enters the TL::

ACTION: Suddenly, the console right next to the MO flips off, then on again, and a computerized voice emerges...

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Should we be worried that Turok knows just the person?

OPS Vial says:
*OPS*: I'll begin that immediately, Lieutenant.

Voice says:
MO: Might I suggest several alternatives to remove nasty spy ware and spam products that may have infiltrated your computer core?

CTO_Grey-feather says:
::enters TL with the others::

CO_Storal says:
XO: No...Im just glad that we have a Ferengi on board.

OPS_Ryushi says:
MO: Very well, I look forward to it.  CEO: Mr Solkar, do you wish to accompany us?

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: I suppose they could come in handy.

CEO_Solkar says:
OPS: I'd be... delighted.

CTO_Grey-feather says:
Aloud: Great for the next couples days we have to put up with being called Huuumahns by the Ferengi  :: smirks ::

OPS_Ryushi says:
CEO: Very well, ensign, I believe Turok knows 'just the guy'.  I suggest we follow him.

MO_Turok says:
Voice: You may, but how much will it cost for the information?

CO_Storal says:
::cracks his neck as he makes his way off ship:: XO: Have any plans?

CEO_Solkar says:
OPS: Agreed

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Plans, on Ferenginar?  No. You?

Voice says:
MO: We have a wide variety of options. The standard plan costs 120 strips of latinum; however, for a limited time only, we're offering the Super Plan for ONLY 180 strips! Norefundsnoexchange.

CO_Storal says:
XO: No not really. ::laughs:: I thought you could give me some ideas

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: And what would make you think that?

CO_Storal says:
XO:I don’t know.. It sounded good. ::chuckles::

CTO_Grey-feather says:
:: puts his rules of acquisition under his arm and gets ready to try and have a good time::

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
CO: Let's get this vacation started so we can end it, okay?

MO_Turok says:
Voice: Send me the info on your supplier and the free demo he surely supplies.

CO_Storal says:
::enters the TL:: XO: Agreed. ::steps on the transporter pad::

Voice says:
MO: There is no need! I can transfer a copy of the program to you immediately! As for a free demo.... where do you think you are, Risa?

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::steps up to the transporter pad:: CO: Let's go. ::smiles::

CTO_Grey-feather says:
:: Steps onto the pad with the others ::

Transporter Chief says:
All: Ready folks?

CO_Storal says:
Chief: Energize.

XO_Naegle-Marsland says:
::feels the transporter beam take effect::

ACTION: The first group of officers is beamed down to the streets of Ferenginar... where it is, to be expected, raining rather hard... did the crew remember their umbrellas?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<End>>>>>>>>>>>>>>